Suddenly, I felt that I'm so Lonely. Actually most of my living days I felt that way, but today it hit me hard enough to make me feel really sad. Well, as I said before in the past, no one really understand me. You may see me always laughing, smiling, bitching, gossiping with everyone, but do u all really think that's my true self? Ialways felt so lonely & scared that's why I pretend or tried to be so out-going to everyone even though I'm really not. I wanted to find someone who can really listen to me & tell them my feelings deep within me. I thought I could find 1, but the truth always hurts. Anway, I'm just so tired of facing my
"Frenz" in my Sqn, cos I really don't know what to do or talk about anymore. I wished I can don't talk to them but they will ask me if I'm angry or etc. This really kills me.
Today, again I feel left alone. I shall not tell the whole story cos it drags, just summarising it. I was always the last person that everyone thought of unless for help. Even in Secondary School Days, Poly, & now. Do u all know how it feels? I'm always not so important in your lives, I wished I could cry but I just forgot how. When I ORD which is in July, hopefully I won't get to see or meet anyone from my Sqn. It will be so awkward seeing them again, & if we're to meet up I doubt I'll be going to.
Cos I'm just gonna stick back to when I was Secondary 1 & 2, where Jerry Lim Doesn't even exist in everyones' mind. Hopefully I can die soon.....
