Waking up in the late morning, have lunch, online, jogging, have dinner, sleep, & the cycle keeps going back. Well, I have had this kind of life for I guess close to 6 months since my ORD. It's not that I don't wanna get a job, but all those job I applied for keep asking me to wait for 2 weeks. So 2 weeks after 2 weeks, & finally 6 months.
Haiz.... what a pain in the ass, people keep asking me "you haven't found a job?" for these months. I' so sick & tired of hearing those phrase. But what can I do? My life is already screwed up long ago, so I gotta suck it up. Well, if the previous 2 job that I interviewed for doesn't wants me, then I got no choice but to do just apply for any other job then. I gotta eat & spend $$ somehow, so $$ doesn't drop down from the sky. Let's all just die already since life is so screwed up.
Monday, January 09, 2012
Yet another festival is coming around... Well, it's good to have festival cos we will have holidays then, but the only part I hate this coming festival is gathering with my uncles, aunties. Reason? needless to say, all of them always like to do comparison, spreading gossips (which are not true), etc. But my mum love it, cos she can join in those stupid gossips, even though she always tells us that she never want to join in her sisterhood gossips, but she's always doing it, what a croak.
The most troublesome thing this time is that, I haven't got a job yet. I have ORD since last year end July, so I predicted that there will be like a tsunami of questions & lecturing sweeping me this time. Anyway, I'm prepared for it, so we shall see what happens next.
These past week haven't really do much, even the countdown for 2012 didn't really affect me much (I didn't even celebrate the countdown though). Just another year to me, without dreams, freedom, I will be just as dead as a log. But this is my life, & I guess I can't do much, praying for death doesn't seems to be working either. Perhaps the gods just want me to suffer as much as I could till the day I disappear from the world, that's fine with me.
Anyway, went for the interview for a job which I didn't want (my mum forced me into it as usual). From what I see, I flung it, but still gotta wait for the results after 15 days. So if I didn't get this job, I wonder what's next to come, I can't be wasting my time right?
Went to Chinatown with Terence last week, we went to PS Cafe, had some drinks and ate the dates Ice cream. I hate dates cos they taste weird, but surprisingly, the ice cream we had is
FANTASTIC.
Yesterday went to the Long House Coffee Shop to have the Fried Carrot Cake with my family. & then my family went to the temple beside it to offer incense, then I snapped this image, kinda love it.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Had a Fantastic Day yesterday during the Farewell for Marcus. Hasn't been that happy for quite along time, but yesterday I did enjoy myself when we were cycling, chatting, etc. So what made me that happy? Yesterday went for cycling in the Afternoon with Mich, Quan Lin & Wendy, even though it was Hell cos we cycle from East Coast Park, all the way to Changi Village & back to East Coast Park. If you think it's nothing, u guys go try it urself, it's hell lots of torture. We were aching like hell all the way throughout the whole journey. Lastly, to Marcus: It's great knowing you, even though we have some misunderstanding here & there in the past, but that's what friends gotta go through, & All the Best for when U get to Aussie!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Do you guys always feel empty, or pain in your heart? I don't mean those pain that can cause death, but pain like aching. It aches & stops & after a while it starts all over again, you feel so cold inside you, yet it's not due to the weather. That's how I felt over these few months. Thinking of so much things every now & then, in the night when no one can see or hear you, your tears start to fall down the cheek, you started crying yet you can't make a sound.
I cry alot these few years I think... Why? Even I tell you guys it will be futile, because deep inside, I've already given up EVERYTHING. Right now, there's nothing to hold me back to leave this world, to keep trying for myself & to be the real me.
X'Mas is coming, & after that, a brand New Year yet again, so don't disappoint EARTH, pls make 2012 World End a Fact rather than just a speculation. & lastly, to those who happens to believe in wishes, dreams, etc... Seriously, you guys can just forget about all this shit cos wishes & dreams doesn't happen, at least for me it doesn't.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Alright, my blog seems to be dying, so I shall start being active in blogging again I hope (*fingers crossed). Well, have been hearing from friends around me that they have broken up with their BF. Yup, you didn't see wrongly, you may think it's not like a big deal for me to blog about, but before I start to blog about this matter, thoughts came gushing into my mind. What is LOVE? How does it feel to be LOVED or to love another person? Does the so called FOREVER LOVE really exist? Very immature questions, even I myself think it's ridiculous for me to believe in such things.
If you ask me what is LOVE, I'll probably give you the answer: "I DON'T KNOW". Seriously, that will be my answer, firstly, I have yet to be in a relationship before even though I'm like 20+ years old & I really wished I could be in one. Looking at humans these days, not only the guys, but oso the girls, treating relationship like drinking water, really made me wonder if they really love their BF/GF.
So how does it to feel to love another person? Does your heart pound like you're being chased by the T-Rex in Jurassic Park? Do you dream of her/him even in your dreams? Do you smile or laugh ridiculously at something which reminds you of him/her even though it isn't funny? Well, if you have all the above mentioned for at least.... Let me think......... a month, I suppose you really love the person.
Arguments, Cold-wars. Yea, these are the things that a couple would have to experience to have a better understanding of one another & to build up their relationship. But, when the couple decides the say "Let's Break Up", do they really meant that? Will they regret? To me, if a person can just say 3 words above that easily, meant that she doesn't even care about the relationship or even me. Humans are such funny animals, when they are not yet a couple & fighting all obstacles to be one, they would tell each other how much they meant, how much they love each other. But when they are finally a couple, they fuss about even the smallest thing in the world. Even though it may be just a peanut matter, it may cause one side of the planet to say out the "Heartless Words". So does that make the love less TRUE? Cos I always hear people saying "True Love can withstand the test of Time".
Breaking ups, going back together, well, it may be normal, but if it happens that many times, don't you guys/babes think that you all should grow up & be mature when facing relationship? Saying those words is very easy, cos you just say it & f@ck off, that's it, how hard can it be? But think back to the time when both of you are trying to be together, you all fought so hard to get this far, doesn't it hurts to just let go of one another hand?
So, I want to ask all of you, do you guys/babes really treasure your other half? If you really do, how can you guys/babes just break up because of small matters like this? Why don't you all think of saying "I'm sorry". Well, Please don't get offended by my post, it's just my thoughts, cos I have yet to be in a relationship, I may not know how it is to be in one & the ups & downs, But to me, I would never say the 3 words that EASILY. So all of you should just THINK hard when you wanna spit out those words & treasure your other half.
Saturday, November 05, 2011
Have been crying the whole day today. Woke up in the morning, & my mind started thinking & thinking, & so my tears keep falling down my cheek. Wipe off the tears, went to take a bath, just as I was looking out at the window panel, my tears was at its end of falling off from my eyes, but I hold on to it, taking it back. After that, sat in front of my PC, eating & viewing the videos from Youtube. Even though the videos are funny, my tears started rolling again, soon, my whole face is wet. Once again I wipe them off my face so as to prevent anyone at home to see me crying.
Why am I crying? Since when have I become a cry baby? Since when have I become so weak? I really duno.... The only thing I know is that I cry because I 'm at the crossroad of my life. In life, there are time when things doesn't happen the way u wanted it to be, u cry for it, u blame everyone for it, but after that everything will be alright. However, it wasn't the case for my situation. I wanted be what I want to be, but I can't. The only thing I can ask from the god is that: Can u grant me a peaceful death right now? I'm really tired of my life, I'm really tired of working so damn hard for a life that I didn't want, & I'm really tired of myself & the world....
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Close to 2 months since I last updated this blog huh. Hmm, well...nowadays I got not much things to blog about anymore, cos I've finished my NS, now just waiting for the chance for me to get into the job. But fret not, I'm not closing this blog, but who cares anyway.
Haiz... Have been trying out for this particular job which is so freaking hard to get in. Well, I know in this life, I will never be able to do what I wanted to do, since that's the case I can only find a job that allows me to run from this life or rather this place. Know what I'm getting on? Clever Bitches....
Humans are very fascinating aren't they? They always want to get the things they can't get, & when they got hold of it, they want more & more. So much more that they can't handle. Nowadays does any human being still slow down their pace & listen to the sound of the wind? Look up to the Moon & Stars to reminisce? I think maybe there only 5% or less are doing so.
Just when will humans understand that beauty does not only come from the exterior but the interior itself? I have not yet understand that myself though. But I wish someone could teach me that.
If everyone knows when they are going to die, will they still be living like what they are now? The same routine over & over again, work, eat, sleep or will they start to notice the nature around them? I have so many questions yet no answers.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Finally ORD lor, yet there's so much mixed feeling. So what am I going to do next?? I really don't know, but I don't wanna just rot my life away. Well, I've got to say that I do miss the time & people I met in my Sqn these years. I know time won't go back & we got to keep moving on, but I think I just need a little more time to get myself ready for the cruel society.
Firstly to say to the people/friends I've made in my Sqn: Thank you so much guys (Fabian, Chee Wee, Encik Han, MSG Jeff, CC, Danny, Ah Guan & Eric), I really learned so much from u guys even though sometimes I have mood swing or rather a lot of the time. But I am really grateful that I'm posted to the Sqn with u guys coaching & teaching me. It is my pleasure to have made such strong bonds with all of u even though we have time when things doesn't work out. Hope our friendship doesn't end here.
Next to the friends (Jun Kiat, Tim & Chris) whom I have been with all these well in my Sqn: I'm really delighted to have friends like you guys for these years. We have times when we were suffering, we have time we were cheering for one another not to give up on our dreams, & we have time when we were all laughing together. Those were the days where I learned so much from u guys & bonded with each other. I will never forget those days, hopefully our friendship & fate doesn't just end here. No matter what happen in the future, I hope we can still keep in close contact with one another & I wish all of u all the best in pursuing ur dreams.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Finally it's time for me to count down towards my ORD, happy & sad at the same time. Why? Cos I've been in my Sqn for so long, more or less I've sort of have some feelings there. But, nvm, hopefully our team could still gather together often even though we're finish NS. Anyways, the most problematic thing right now is that I have not yet find a job!!!!!!!!!!! OMG...... ok, it's terrible I know.... Hmm... I really wonder can I find a job outside given my ability. Hopefully someone out that wants to employ me!
Recently have been developing this weird mood swing which I duno why. Nowadays I've been talking less than normal, & I suspect is highly due to the growing stress from ORDing. Haiz..... Can I just get what I want to do Pls?
Everyone listen to this song, I think it's amazing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUb1XQzNiCI&feature=related
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Finally 4 days of sweat & tears.... The OH11 has ended!!!! Well, I should not say I did a lot of things, but at least I did my part as an ambassador. Thru these 4 days, I saw so much things & yes again I started to think too much. The first 2 days were totally a nightmare cos basically we're under the hot sun for around 3 to 4 hours, & the whole place is flooded with so many people, o you guys can imagine how stuffy & humid the place is.
For the last 2 days, I was stationed at the exhibition area, not too bad cos at least it's air-conditioned. But I stood still for at least 6 hours. Actually I didn't realize how gorgeous the view of the runway is when the night falls until the last day. I have the urge to just lie on the runway & admire the sky, but we're not allowed, what a shame.
Anyway, while I was doing my part as an ambassador, these few things came to my mind:
1) Does friendship really last forever? Or is it just a few years & it'll end just there?
I always thought I can survive on my own, but these few years I looked back & saw how hard it was for me to move on without people with me. But friendship is something that doesn't last long doesn't it? Cos I can hardly see anyone who still keep a very close contact with the people they knew since young. Since it doesn't last long, why do we still make so much friends & make ourselves sad when everything just turns out to be like a fairytale?
2) Will I be alone for the rest of my life till it ends?
The feeling of being alone is so scary, even though I've been thru it for so long, I'm still afraid of loneliness. Well, who doesn't want a friend whom you can talk to when you really need someone to listen, even just sitting next to you silently, looking at you crying.
3) Can I break out from my shell & make friends just like other people?
When I look at how people can relate to one another & make friends it look so simple just like breathing in & out. But when I want to make a friend it just seems so difficult, even just to talk to someone. Why? I really couldn't figure it out.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Well, I'm having Diarrhea since yesterday evening & it suck, but it's kinda blessing for me cos I do not nid to go for work today!!!!!!
Have been quite some time since I update this blog though, but who cares. Anyway, last Saturday went to play Lan wif the usual, & after that went to watch THOR. Seriously, I think the show suck to the core. Other than the effects that are pretty well illustrated, the plot the storyline just doesn't make the cut. I though Suckerpunch was already a dreadful show, I didn't expect Thor to be int he exact same dreafulness as Suckerpunch (it's only slightly better).
This week I'm thinking of watching The Priest, hopefully it's not a disappointment. Working these days seems to be so tough, haiz.... time pls pass faster so I can ORD soon!!!
Saturday, March 05, 2011
For the past 2 weeks I've been going for celebrations. Well, it's not my friends' birthday or anything, but it's the celebration of my work centre. 1st is the celebration at OBS East Coast where I took part in the Amazing Race. Not too bad, we emerged the 1st after being stuck at just the 1st clue for at least 45 mins. Pretty impress with the results we had. The 2nd celebration which took place at Sentosa yesterday was pretty much the most tedious one. I was in the Dragon's Boat Team, we didn't win cos some "accident" happen. Well, no one was hurt luckily. It was my 1st time for Dragon's Boat actually, but I've got to say, it's really fun. Even though it's tiring, but I just like the feeling of rowing the boat, I don't know why.
After the event, a group of us wanted to play Beach Volleyball, so we proceeded with it & god damn it, it started to rain so heavily, that all of us gotta seek for shelter. So we waited for around 30mins or so for the rain to stop & proceeded to the Tanjong Beach. When we reach there, some of the guys complained there's no babes to see, WTF? So we switch over to Siloso Beach. So after switching here & there, we wasted around 30 mins before we could get things done. But problems just keep coming. The beach volleyball courts is fully OCCUPIED & there isn't much babes for us to ogle at, WTH!!! So we started playing without the boundaries. After an hour we've got tired of playing the game, so we switched to playing Rugby instead. My 1st time playing rugby, & I got to say, it's extremely tedious game, so if you've not had energy, don't think about playing the game.
After 2 hours of struggle, we finally ended the day by going over to Vivo City to have our dinner at Asian Kitchen if I never remember wrongly. Well, the food doesn't appeal to me & it's not worth the $$$.
Friday, February 11, 2011
I always believe that everyone is born to do something. For years I've been finding what am I born to do? This question have been bothering me since I was around 14, & as the years just keep passing by, I'm getting more & more afraid. Cos I really cant figure it out & I don't wanna regret when I grow old doing something I don't like. But there are so much things I need to consider. Firstly, my parents, they wouldn't support what career I've chosen for myself cos they think there's no future for me in the job. I can understand what they are feeling, but on the other hand, it's something I really wanna do & I would wanna do it for the rest of my life. I know I might not succeed in the career, but at least I wouldn't regret.
Secondly, I'm afraid of not capable of performing well in my career. That really worries me alot. I want people to see & feel that I'm really good, but I'm not sure if I'm good in the 1st place. As much as I wanted it so much, sometimes things just doesn't go your way. All I can do is Hope.... Hope that I can really be somebody.... Hope that I can succeed in whatever I do.
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
I just came back from M'sia last Sun after staying there for around a week for CNY. Actually we planned to come back to S'pore only on Mon, but my annoying dad just wanna come back on Sun. & all thnx to him, I'm not able to go shop for my clothes!!!! Anyway, I've been missing some things since I came back. Such as the chinese television shows, I've got to say I'm so addicted watching them cos it's so funny. Luckily for me, during my stay, I'm able to watch the their 1st Telemovie called The Superb Matchmakers. It's freaking funny guys, I not sure if we're able to purchase it, but I know they going to release the DVD in M'sia! Other than that, the life there is also quite relaxing, which I really like, everyday just slack. Anyone pls..... Can help me get The Superb Matchmakers?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Yesterday went to play L4D2 with my Sqn mates. Finally after so long, we get to play it again even though at 1st I'm kinda shaky cos so long since I last played the game. We played for ard 5 to 6 hrs then everyone start to went home & left with Potato, Heng & I again. So we were thinking what to do next, & we kept walking back & fro from Iluma to Bugis Junction. Then finally we gave up on watching movies instead, we went back to LAN gaming. It was so tiring when I finally reached home around 12am. But thank god, it's raining! I just love the rain so much.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Suddenly, I felt that I'm so Lonely. Actually most of my living days I felt that way, but today it hit me hard enough to make me feel really sad. Well, as I said before in the past, no one really understand me. You may see me always laughing, smiling, bitching, gossiping with everyone, but do u all really think that's my true self? Ialways felt so lonely & scared that's why I pretend or tried to be so out-going to everyone even though I'm really not. I wanted to find someone who can really listen to me & tell them my feelings deep within me. I thought I could find 1, but the truth always hurts. Anway, I'm just so tired of facing my "Frenz" in my Sqn, cos I really don't know what to do or talk about anymore. I wished I can don't talk to them but they will ask me if I'm angry or etc. This really kills me.
Today, again I feel left alone. I shall not tell the whole story cos it drags, just summarising it. I was always the last person that everyone thought of unless for help. Even in Secondary School Days, Poly, & now. Do u all know how it feels? I'm always not so important in your lives, I wished I could cry but I just forgot how. When I ORD which is in July, hopefully I won't get to see or meet anyone from my Sqn. It will be so awkward seeing them again, & if we're to meet up I doubt I'll be going to. Cos I'm just gonna stick back to when I was Secondary 1 & 2, where Jerry Lim Doesn't even exist in everyones' mind. Hopefully I can die soon.....
Friday, December 31, 2010
Hmm, today is the eve of 2011. But it's not anything special to me or my family. Haiz.... a new year is coming, meaning more things are lining up for me to be done. I'm not gonna spell out all the resolutions cos I know they are FREAKING NOT GONNA COME TRUE. For those humans who think that theirs will come true, just keep dreaming huh.
Let's go back to yesterday, went to play L4D2 with my Sqn mates again at the same place. After that, we went to eat the famous Selegie Beancurd. I tell you all what, the beancurd is not nice at all la, so many people tell me it's damn nice, it's all bull crap. So after that, we went walking all around the place, then some of us went home 1st. Which left with Tim, Heng, Kang Dang & me. So we decided to go watch movie, but we went there & we cant decide on a show. So we went to have our dinner, & Tim ditched us again.... So 3 of us went to Mind Cafe to play!!!!! Played till around 10.45, then we went home.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Seriously, I'm not feeling really good today cos I think I didn't slp well yesterday night & I woke up way too early this morning. Anyway, today I went to play L4D2 with my Sqn mates again. But this time we have different ppl playing. Quite fun actually playing with new ppl, but again, JINX!!!! He always without FAIL did stunts which I personally dun understand. But that's another issue.
So today during the morning, went to Safra Yishun for some celebration, & I took part in the Wii competition. My group lost, but it was my 1st time playing Wii, so I'm pretty happy with my score though. Hmm, I kinda not feeling to do anything nowadays, just have the feeling of lying on the patch of green grass & look at the sky from day to night, I really dunno why, & hopefully some GODDESS from some SACRED place can ENLIGHTEN me yea! Wish any beings who came about my blog an early HAPPY XMAS! I doubt anyone will read my blog these days huh, but I dun give a shit abt it. Soon I may just have a post abt someone at my workplace, & we can do some serious thrash-writing yea. I JUST LOVE IT!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Yesterday took a day off & went to play L4D2 with my unit mates. It was damn fun & I think I'm already addicted to playing it hahaha. Basically I just stumble when I played the 1st few matches but I came back with a vengeance after that, & manage to kick asses. We played quite a few hours before grabbing a bit at the small cafeteria there, where we have wan toon mee. After that, JK & Jerrold gotta make a move, which left Chris, Miah, YY & me. So we decided to catch a movie. We watched the next 3 days, hmm, I feel the plot wasn't too bad, I grade it 3/5 popcorns. There are certain times when I get soooo bored with the scenes, but the way the casts escape were the most breath taking part. They were so lucky & the timing & all were just amazing. The next month is a busy month cos lots of my frenz Birthday falls on December!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Finally back from Genting trip yesterday. It was so damn fun going on a trip with my friends. Kinda sad cos the time there seems to be passing so fast & we sort of have not enough time to spend. Anyway, I have to comment about the food that. Holy crap, humans pls dun bother to try those restaurant, food court or cafe like Hou Mei, Kopitiam & Hot pot, etc, at there, cos they suck & the service too. Yet we are actually paying service charge for the fuck up attitude they give us. Other than that, the trip was pretty all alright. We went shopping for most of our time there cos is SALES!!!! Yes, & that's why we got not enough time to spend & that we end up not having enough money too. Should have brought more $$$. Most importantly, I've lost money at the Casino due to my damn EGO!!! Arrgh!!!
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Last Sat went out with Terence to buy the stuff for his CCN day. We went quite a lot of places from Si Mei to Newton then ended up in Plaza Sing. Anyway, has been quite peaceful at my workplace lately, so nothing much to update about that. But for the time being, I'm anticipating my very very long break. YES!!!! Starting from this Thurs, I'll be on leave till next Thurs, Hurray!!!!!! Finally got to rest from the horrible work. This week starting from Thurs I'll be going to Genting with some of my NS mates, hopefully will be a smooth trip yea, update when I return.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Hmm, finally I've decided that I shall no longer be as hardworking as I am now at my workplace. Reason being that the lazies can get to slack like crazy & the rest of us gotta work so hard & sweat like mad. So wad for? It's not like I invested money there, so why not I be one of those slackers & enjoy life? Also, at my workplace, when u do something great u dun necessary get reward but if u do something wrong u definitely get punishments. Pls dun get mistaken that I want the rewards so freaking bad, is jus that I feel is so unfair. Furthermore, the "heads" always try to cover up for the slackers so they dun really get punish that much. Let me ask u all something, if your worker frequently comes to work late, will u punish them? If your worker refuses to do work & keep saying I DON'T WANT, will u punish them? & if your worker cheats on the TIME-OFFS will u punish them? In my case, my bosses doesn't. So to conclude that I shall state that my point of not working as hard as I used to be is perfectly OK!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Last sat went to Pasir Ris Chalet to celebrate Xiang Yun's 21st Bday. We're suppose to reach at 7+ but we ended up being late, haha... so sorry yea got to ask u to wait for us. Anyway, finally met Da wei after so long. I guess around 1 year plus since we meet up, well, we did change alot I suppose. Time flies so quickly & Da Wei already studying in University, soon I'll also ORD & another phase of life will begin. How depressing huh. 4 more days of HELL, gotta get thru it! That's all for the week yea.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Well well well, 1st Selamat Hari Raya Frenz!! I know it's yesterday, but I was too busy yesterday so I forgot to blog about it. Anyway, this week had been so tiring for me cos I have yet to complete some tasks that were given to me & I only have Monday to complete them. Hopefully I'll make it on time. nothing much to say, but people go watch this on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZA4J1f_NFw. It is freaking funny!!!
Sunday, September 05, 2010
Last Fri marks the end of my course. Thank Guan Yin Ma! Throughout the whole course I just couldn't take it. The lecturer jus keeps dragging the time when we can knock off earlier & his bored to death games, which were soooooo childish. Anyway, last week went to MINDS CAFE with Tim, Jeremiah, Ah Heng & Kiat. Played from 2 to 6pm, it was damn cheap sia, $5 only. Furthermore, I got the chance to get back to TP to eat!! These few days have been so hot, People up there pls shed some droplets to EARTH!!!!!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Finally! After so many weeks of not being able to blog. I duno why but after I change my anti virus, I can blog again!! Well, these few weeks have been quite hectic. First, I finally got to sit on the Flyer for the cost of $10!!!! Thnx to Terence who took me to sit on it. The view up there is magnificent, but there's too much reflections on the glass which kinda affect us from viewing. But nvm, I finally sat on it.
A few weeks ago, there was a IOF dinner at Marina Barrage too. That was also my 1st time going there. Hmm, I love the gust of wind that seems to be blowing like no tml. I'm not sure if it is usually like tat. The dinner was ok, after the dinner, some of my colleagues & I went to the MINDS Cafe a Clarke Quay. We bitched & played till around 2pm, it was really damn fun, hopefully this kind of activity can happen more often.
During these few weeks I have been tasked to do up the noticeboard, which I have yet to complete it. Time is running up so fast, I need to complete it before my Sir come back sia!! & I'm also been asked to do some projects which I have yet start & will be due in like 2 1/2 weeks time, HOW!!!!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Yesterday went to E-Hub with Tim, Jeremiah & Joel to watch Despicable me. It's a great show I think, it's really hilarious & touching at some moments. Nevertheless, I give it 3.5/5 popcorns!! Well, nothing really happen lately, just celebrated my 21st with my polymates earlier on last week. Thnx you all, I really appreciate the gift! Next week shall be a really busy week for me. My posts are getting less, cos I really duno wad to write. Hopefully, there will soon be a really long post.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Today went to Bugis street wif Ah Heng to buy my vest. Finally got one which I like & it fits me. Well, after that we went to watch the A-Team at Bugis. Not bad I shall say, I give it a 3/5 popcorn.
The stunts of the show was pretty good, the timing , etc was shocking.
After that went to Compass Point to play Arcade & I shall prove 1 thing. The soft toy grabbing machine, I duno wad it is called, is freaking hard to play! I bet wif Ah Heng that I can grab one in the 1st try, but the machine proven me wrong.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
The cars, the 18 storey building, the colourful pills, the strong rope, the invisible air & the razor blade. How I wish either of it could **** me now.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Well, these 1 week has been a busy week for me at my work, but thank god it's finally completed. Anyway, I'm kinda lost nowadays, or should I say since a few months back. Haiz... Nowadays, I don't even know what I'm doing & I can't even stay focus on my job. So much things to think about, it's breaking me apart. Have been putting a fake smile when I'm at work, but I'm used to it, & at home, I don't even feel like talking. Just wanna be alone in a far far place where I can start fresh. Without family, without friends, without the old me. But I know it's impossible.
Have been wondering it will be great if I could just keep sleeping & sleeping one day & never wake up. Since I'll cause problems with whoever I'm around with, why not just let me sleep & not wake up? Have u ever wonder will anyone even shed a drop of tears for u if u die? For me, I think no one ever will. People like me should not even have been born in this world. Dreams, passion, love, nothing seems to be happening to me. I'm just like the dried leaf that fell to the ground that anyone who pass by who step on & move on.
Sunday, May 02, 2010
Yesterday went to Ah Heng's House for Majong at night. Damn suay ar, keep winning those small tai, in the end lose around $9!!!! Haiz....nvm, still got next time. Anyway, These few weeks are kinda boring, everyday go work, come back home, eat dinner, sleep. The routine keeps going on & on. & I Still got 1year 3months before I ORD!!!!!!!
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Well, well, well, guess what? I failed my GWT test again! Holy piece of shit.... How the hell I flung it again???? Haiz..... Putting that aside, lately I've been thinking about lots of stuffs, from my current job to my future.
From these few months, I realize something that's very very crucial which I must say I'm very careless. Which is that there are actually someone in our circle trying to sow discord. Hmm... I got to know this after these few months which is kinda not like me yea? Anyway, the reason why he do that I suppose cos he wanna be the pet of all the people & trying to make all of us literally "to his side". Well, so now that I suspect that I shall keep to myself about all this stuff about trusting and what-so-ever, which I used to in the past. So I'm not gonna help anyone in the circle, just shut my eyes & my mouth & do only what I'm suppose to. & pray that I can survive thru all this shit for the remaining 1 year & 3 months.....
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Well, today went for my 1st GWT exam. Guess what? I failed the exam by the stupid 1 mark. After I know my results, I was so fucking depressed & pissed off. Depressed on the fact that why the heck did I not pass the exam? I studied so hard for it & I spent 2 weeks on it, why the hell I just can't pass? I was so disappointed with myself. But I can't blame anyone other than myself, why am I so stupid, why did I wanted to score full marks by attempting the questions that I'm unsure of? On the other hand, I was very very pissed of by some of them who passed. At least 98% of them copied throughout the exams & they passed just because of that! & people like me basically just flunked it, it's so unfair! Those people should have their tongue sliced off, skin peeled off & poked their whole body with needles!!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Well well well, it has been too long since my last post yea, so I shall blog about the recent happenings yea. Hmm, actually nothing interesting these days, CNY has sort of ended cos the official holidays has ended for me. This year got less Ang Bao as compared to last year cos my Mum's side all can't give Ang Bao. Haiz.... But, this year CNY, I won quite a bit of $$$$ from Majong & Blackjack yea!!!! Haha..... Won around $40++ from 3 games, kinda worth it. Well, for my job, nothing much happen, just that I've learnt to make lanterns from ang bao & I can do it pretty well, wanna know why? Ask me personally then, hahahaha....
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Well, this post is for my eldest sister. Anyone who wants to Rent/Buy/Etc my Sisters' shop at Hougang Green, Pls pls pls contact me asap thru my email nightguardianicy@hotmail.com, my Friendster: http://profiles.friendster.com/29572075 or my facebook: http://www.facebook.com/azurelios
CONTACT ME ASAP YEA!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Today's the 1st day that the 2 teams separates. Well, kinda weird cos normally we will have quite s high level of noise in the Training Room, but today there's only left with the 6 of us. Even though every week they will be rotating to come back to the HQ, but still I don't really like the separating part yea. Hmm, why must we keep separating sia, from BMT till now our group has separate for around 4 times alrdy. Haiz....no matter what I still have to face the fact that it's a 2 yrs plan, & I gonna have to deal with it whether anot I like it.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Well, it's the depressing day of the year, yea it's the end of 2009 today, which marks the fact that we will be growing older & moving forward to 2010. Hmm, there's nothing really much that I can proudly say I achieved that are not achieved in 2008. Haiz... kinda depressing huh. Well, that's my life, I can only live with it.
Achievements in 2009:
1) Become slightly more confident
2) Have a steady income (though it's not alot)
3) Able to make more decision on my own
4) Proceeding to the next phase of my life (NS)
Downfall in 2009:
1) Still can't seems to express my true self in front of the others
2) Still single
3) Still freaking UGLY!
4) Still don't know how to relate to the others
5) Still not signed with an agency
6) Still a Loner
7) Still can't really control my temper
8) Still reluctant to lose to anyone (even though I know I'm wrong)
Well, that's what I've basically did in the whole year. Generally nothing much, but I still need a big big step to move to the next phase of my life and hopefully 2010 would be a great year for me
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Yesterday went to Lil Bali to celebrate Mich's 20th Bday. Finally got to see my poly mates again after so long, well, everyone is doing quite well. We met up at Vivo City after which we then headed to Lil Bali. The 4 of us went off 1st after the cake ceremony, & That's for the day. & Happy Birthday Mich! Today's the actual day of your Birthday yea, Stay happy & healthy yea!
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Well, just came back from AFTC Graduation Ceremony. So obviously I'm now a qualified personnel. Today saw all my previous mates during AFTC time, seems that everyone is doing quite well now, good to see them again though. Initially wanted to go dinner together, but most of us are kinda drain out for the day, so we canceled the gathering. Gonna be a very busy week, so have to try get enough sleep to prepare myself for the days ahead!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Last Wed was a memorable day for me because it's our 4E3 class gathering! Finally after so long we met up with one another, that day was really a great day for me. In addition, this time for our gathering, more people of our class came which is a good thing cos we finally get to know how each other is doing now as some of us are out to the workforce. But sad to said, some of the usual wasn't there though. Well, also for my NS, we're getting separated again too. Haiz....Why must we keep separating sia, kinda miss my friends already. Buy anyway, today play majong with Terence, Jessica & Hui Min. Not bad, won about $12 all together. Also we chatted alot of stuffs, & Terence just said the damn freaking thing larh, it's not like you gonna die saying it. That's all for this week yea.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Yesterday I went back to TP to find Terence they all. Well, when I reached TP, they just finish the D Cup, so we went to the opposite as usual to have our lunch. After that, Mabel went home & Ronney went to work at IKEA. So the rest of us went to Parkway. I think I haven't been to Parkway before or maybe I did when I was young, but frankly speaking, it was a boring place. & surprisingly we found Gary working there, so went to talk to him & he showed us his "Magic". So after which Jing Xin had to go to Kovan so we walk with her to the bus stop and then we went to Settlers Cafe. Went home at 11.30PM and I was dead tired, that's it.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Yesterday was our last day with some of our AFTC mates. Haiz..... 6 weeks passes so fast and all of us have to be separated to our individual bases again. Well, kinda sad cos all of us are quite close together, hopefully we can get together frequently. Anyway, we went to Sakae Sushi to dine together, Chris & I went home 1st to change so we got there later then the others. It was quite fun and I believe we enjoyed ourselves & we took some photos too! I'll post them up when I get them. All the best ppl, & ROCK & ROLL!!!!!!
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Well, last Thurs was our last night at AFTC. Hmm, kinda miss the days there cos all of us have fun actually and I actually made quite alot of friends as compared to Tekong days. But we still have 3 more days at AFTC before we all get posted out to the various bases. Anyway, I just saw the recent show : The Shan & Rozz Show. Guess what, they did an interview with RIS LOW!!! The video is Freaking funny and I've learnt a new word from her, which is SHINGZ!!!! Wanna know what that means? Go check it out at youtube or clicknetwork.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Last Wed's Night's out went to eat Subway with Gary & Chee Wei. Well, frankly speaking, i don't really like it, is's not filling at all, after I ate the 6 Inch bread and coke, I still don't feel anything in my stomach. Moreover, the meat is pretty cold I shall say or rather totally cold which I hate. Whatever the case, the problem is I can't get FULL eating the bread!!!
Nothing much really happen last week, 11 days more before all of us post to our unit, haiz.....time passes really fast, still remember the 1st few days when I was there, I didn't even speak alot with the others. But as the days goes on, we kinda all mixed around together very well I shall say. Well, good luck everyone!!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Hmm, Have been quite busy these few weeks with exams, but I think I am coping well with the life at AFTC. I have not been sleeping well these few days cos I have been thinking about "Her". Well, I have been too silly to think of "Her" cos she might not even remember me now, nevertheless, this is what came across my mind:
Our Primary School invites us back for our 10th year reunion and I went back and saw her. Then the 2 of us walk around at the big field where in the past we used to walk home together. & so, the 2 of us just kept chatting & finally I build up my courage & confess to her. In response, she said the same thing to me. & obviously ever Fairytale ending: Happily Ever After.
Haha...ok laugh all you want, I know it's a wishful thinking. She would probably already don't recognize me at all. Haiz.....What ever the case is, it's a dream for me, & as much as I wanted to believe in it or rather for it to happen, I know it's IMPOSSIBLE.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Hmm.... quite some time since my last post, well, I have been thinking so many things from the past. The stuffs that I regretted not doing, thinking back of those memories where we are all together, when we have joy and sadness. It's so good to be a child who do not need to think that much. The times when I was with my friends when I was around 6 to 7 years old were really precious, as much as I wanted to go back to those days, I know I can't. Cos everyone has to move on and absolutely no one has the ability to bring me back. Well, I just wanna tell those people who are reading this blog that remember and treasure the time you have now cos you can never ever have that moment again. I understand you all might say I'm redundant to say all these, but take some time and sit back to think about it, when you really feel what I'm trying to say, you will know how much you lost.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Yesterday went to Pei Yu's house for class gathering. Before going, went to Iluma with Mich, Jason, Lynette, Wendy & Ke Xian. Hmm, There's nothing really much down there, so we went to eat at Thai Express, which at 1st I thought it wouldn't taste nice but turns out the other way. After lunch, Ke Xian went off 1st and the rest of us went to watch I Love You, Beth Cooper. Well, I feel that it wasn't very bad and it wasn't very good either, so it's rated 2.8/5 popcorns by me. Anyway, after that we went to Pei Yu's House for Steamboat!!!!! It was damn good, so many food we can't finish, cocktail, desserts, etc.... There were 7 of us yesterday, but we had a lot of fun. Chatted and gossiped till around 11.20pm then headed home. Thanks Pei Yu and your Mum for the wonderful gesture!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Yesterday was a tiring yet fruitful day for me cos I've sort of updated my wardrobe!!! Went to snag for my stuffs with Terence at Bugis area. So glad that I managed to grab some really cheap stuff, and the 2 of us kept walking and walking until our legs almost break just to look for the hat/cap that suits me!!! Well, finally I managed to find the hat/cap at 77th street after we went to several other shops. Phew, so lucky, thnx a lot Terence for accompanying me to search for my clothes yea. Most importantly, yesterday the most expensive thing I've got, is my dinner. I ate my Yong Tau Fu for heck $7.20!!!!! Damn expensive la, and somemore it taste like shit!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Yesterday went to TM with Terence to watch Aliens in the Attic at 9Pm. Hmm, the wasn't too bad just that in the beginning it is kinda of draggy for me. I rate it 3/5 popcorns. Anyway, chatted with Terence about alot of stuffs, & they oso got their results yesterday, Congrats for Terence cos his GPA increased alot I shall say. But, Siang Phong ar, no nid sad la, still got 3 more sems u sure can score better one, this is just a slight decrease, no nid to be depressed ar. Next sem I tink I will have more time, so can help u with ur exams more if I am really up to the job, hahaha...
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Yesterday went to Woodlands to play basketball with some of my BMT mates. Well, I'm not a good basketball player or shall I say I suck at playing it, our Platoon Sergeant came to join us at ard 8.30pm. Anyway, most of them I still dunno their names cos I've talk to them before, but yesterday's game didn't change the situation too. After the game, Daniel, me, Jason & his friend went to eat before heading home. Reach home at about 11.30pm, damn tired and shag, but quite fun jus to have everyone around doing stuff together.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Well, today as usual I woke up at around 6+ cos I still not adjusted to the lifestyle as during BMT I normally wake up around 5+. But I manage to get back to sleep till around 10+. Meet up with Vincent, Jeremy & Jin Yu at Cathay to exchange our Billy Bombers vouchers. Jeremy went off early, so the rest of us went to watch Year 1. Not too bad I give it a 2.8/5 popcorns. After the movie, we went to play the arcade till 5 then we set off to home. Well, this is the 1st day activity that I have after my POC, hopefully it will get better.
Monday, September 07, 2009
When I was still in BMT I was always hoping that I could quickly finish the 7 weeks then POC & get out of Tekong. However, today is my POC day yet I feel so weird inside. I felt kinda sad cos all of us struggled thru the hardship, the feeling of homesick, etc. So there is some kind of bond which I dunno how to describe between us. Hopefully all of us can gather together frequently in the future. No doubt that I do made some frenz & I believe it is the same for the other, all the best for all of you in the future & thnx alot all the Sirs & Sergeants for these past 7 weeks, we all have times where we were really happy & sad, but we made it thru with all of your help.
Friday, September 04, 2009
Well, finally is the last week in BMT, for these 7 weeks we have gone thru so much.... & I suppose all of us has learnt something that's valuable. Haiz....my POC will be next Monday which means that I am progressing to my next phase of my NS life. Well, I gonna say I will remember & miss the people I met there. All the hardwork & the time we spent together, all these precious memories will be with me forever. Hopefully we can all get together again frequently.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Hmm, well, came back from Tekong on Sat, a pretty long & tiring week though. Something just came across my mind recently, which is that when people are in a new environment, they tend to think more. An example will be me, when I was in Tekong, everything were new to me, the place, the people and everything. It made me think harder about what I did in the past regardless of whether good or bad. I actually found it a blessing for me cos I finally realize how important my family & friends are to me. Especially my mum, I didn't know how much I needed her until I was in Tekong. Hopefully after the BMT, I will become a new & better person that can inspire & help others.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Finally, after 2 weeks of confinement I'm back home. Phew.... it was quite tiring both mentally & physically for me even though what I am doing is not as tough as the As & Bs. However, it feels great to be back home, never felt this good before. Gotta go in today again, & hopefully can book out next week too. Bless me pls!!!! & HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!!!!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Well, this is it, tomorrow is the day that I finally go bald. I'm so gonna miss my hair, but it will always grow back isn't it? Anyway, thnx all for ur concern for me yea. Hmm, I can have my time inside to think about alot of things that bothers me so much, & hopefully I will be able find solutions for all my doubts. See ya'll in 2 weeks time..
Monday, July 20, 2009
Well, today I went to my Aunt's house to sort of trim my hair before going in NS. My long fringe is finally off my head, and now, I'm left with this pathetic little bit of hair.... Haiz...But, it will always grow back yea... Well, going in this Fri, so getting ready soon....
Friday, July 17, 2009
Hmm.....I'm extremely sad today, dun ask me why.... How I wish I was never born in this family. If I have a choice, I rather die. Haiz... Looking at how others live their lives makes me wonder that what am I borned for? I could see people laughing & smiling everyday, but why is it that it was so hard for me to do so? Nevertheless, I am at fault too sometimes, cos I believe it takes two hands to clap.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Finally!!!! After 3 and half weeks of boredom at home without my desktop, I finally get to use a lappy again!!!!! Actually I just signed up the wireless so I've got a free lappy for me to use for the time being. Well, in these 3 weeks lots of things have happen.
1st thing) Nikki went to Australia to study.... We sent her off on the 22 June 09, so saddening, haiz... Anyway, all the best for ur studies & take good care of urself yea!
2nd thing) I finally went to Pulau Ubin!!! Ok, laugh all u want. I have been on S'pore for 20 years, & last last Sunday, I went to Ubin with my family, cos my 8th Aunt came back for holiday with her children after 3 long years. Also, my cousin & his Gf went with us too... Erm, I should say it is quite fun if u like the nature, but if u go Ubin pls remember to apply insect repeller.
3rd thing) I celebrated my Birthday with one of my bros in Sec Sch whose Birthday falls on the same date as me. Well, we took lots of photos too. Thnx yea Faey Mum & Damn Gorgeous for celebrating our birthday
4th thing) I finally got to play majong after like 2 months or so.. Last saturday played majong with Terence, Jessica & Hui Min at my house. So sad, my 1st time losing money playing with them, but still ok, I lost about $1.30 overall, but Jessica lost about $15++....
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Well, yesterday went to Xin Wang at City Hall with Lynette, Michelle, Bibicia & Jason to have our dinner. & again they celebrated my birthday for me in advance. They helped me foot my bills at Xin Wang & bought a cake for me too.... haha... so paiseh sia..... Anyway thnx alot ppl. After that went to find Wei Ting at her work place at Somerset there, but we cant go in cos we're all under 25. So we went to Acid Bar further down, & I've learnt pretty much stuffs. Then after that Ah Boon & Dwayne (I duno how to spell) came along to find us. We stay for pretty long at the bar and then I got off 1st. Once again thnx alot ppl, I really appreciate it.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Yesterday was our E43 gathering again at the Prata House. Hmm.... but only 7 of us turn up. Well, Philip was the latest when everyone reach at around 9.30, he reached at 12.20AM. Basically, we are just gossiping about our classmates during sec sch days, hahaha...No doubt we've got lots of fun. Also, yesterday Nicholas Wu came out of the camp at Tekong for the 1st time. So we thought we could gather together. Ok, he is slimmer but still has that ++, but the obvious is that he got shaved off (his hair). Next week, Nikki is flying to Brisbon, Australia to study, all the best for u Nikki...
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Yesterday have a gathering with my secondary school friends. It has been a very very long time since we meet... Well, not a lot of them turn up, but the 8 of us still enjoy ourselves very much. As usual, quite a number of late-comers, and some of them have to leave early, so we ended quite early too. We went to chit chat at Far East the top level "food court", then later after Eleanor left, we went down to basement to roam around and finally, we ended up at Subway talking & talking again.... We're meeting up again on the 20 Jun, so hopefully more of them will turn up.....
These are the photos we took
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Well, well, well, my blog is rotting, so I'm updating it.....isn't it obvious, holy shit, I'm not myself today. Anyway, last Sunday was a family outing day for my family & my youngest aunt's family. So we went to Changi Beach to BBQ. Basically we did nothing much, it was sooooo boring, which actually made me feel that it is a total waste of my time going.. Haiz....I could have spent my morning sleeping rather than waking up sooooo early for the shit. Okies, enough of that.
A Crane I made with sand
Another picture of it
Next is the FDM MC Outing on Monday 8th June. Well, it was very fun I have to say. We meet at 6.30pm at City Hall Mrt, as usual latecomers, so we only set off at abt 7. At 1st, we're going to hot pot culture to eat, but, the they say that they do not have table for 10, so we changed our destination to Fish & Co. Hmm, as usual those who know me well knows that I don't talk when I eat, unless it is urgent. So, my side was damn quiet, & Sarah's side was noisy, great a good balance....hahaha.... After that, we went to sit down at a place, I don't know where, & chit chat & gossip alot of things... To my surprise..... We heard a very very very big secret from Liza!!!!!! I'm not gonna say.....Haha.....Our Gathering Picture
I think we should give ourselves a name too!!!!!
Monday, May 25, 2009
As promised, the photos of the camp. well, let the photos do the talking cos I don't know what to say..... These photos are taken by the 4 camp photographers, thnx ya.... 
FDM Family photo
My Team during Final Clash
Mabel's Team during Final Clash
Birthday celebration for a freshie ( I duno his name), Anqi, Sarah & Marcus The Main Comms' Dance
Variety Night
Ghost at Blk 18??
Makeup for Spooky Trail
The Helpers!!
Well well well, those photos above are pretty glam aren't they? Now the photos & videos below are the hard work of the main comms during the planning stages, lets take a look....Yi Hang as the Black Hell Keeper during our trail
Siang Phong as the White Hell Keeper during the Spooky Trail trial
The Red Demon (Also by Siang Phong)
The Halfer (It's Siang Phong again)
Siang Phong the Geesus
Vampy
Here are the Videos: